Sunday in Depth #5: Fruit Ninja Movie

fruit-ninja-title[1].jpgThere are plans of making a movie based on the Fruit Ninja iPhone games. And I thought the Angry Birds Movie was a stretch. Oh yeah, let me get to the best part. The Fruit Ninja movie is supposed to be a live action film. When I first read about this I thought it could work (probably wouldn’t get great reviews, but decent box office), but the more I think of it, I realize it will not work, no way! Why do I say that? Five reasons:

  1. The film is based on a videogame- Two weeks ago I wrote a piece on what the Angry Birds Movie and Warcraft would have to do to colonize the genre of videogame movies. I have not watched the Angry Birds Movie yet, but the reviews tell it all, and Warcraft is simply a mess (to read why check out my review of the movie here). So this genre, despite the endless attempts, does not work.
  2. The film is based on an app- I was unsure with The Angry Birds Movie, because it was based on an app, but at least Angry Birds (the app that is) has a ‘plot’ (though thin) and a premise that makes sense (kind of), but Fruit Ninja, an app where you chop fruit, has none. This film really has nothing but the concept of fruit chopping to go on, and that is not enough for a movie.
  3. The film is going to be live action- It’s one thing for an actor to throw his voice into a silly animated movie and get a decent amount of money for it. But when an actor has to put himself into a role, a fruit-chopping ninja, there is absolutely no way to give the actor anything to work with from this concept. If you have a cute animated film about fruit-chopping ninjas that’s fine, but a live action film… How?
  4. The film has no audience- Who is this movie going to market itself to? Definitely not mature adults looking to see a great film, also not adults looking to watch a funny comedy, not children who want to be entertained (there’ll be some animated movie playing at the same time), and not parents who want to take their child to a good movie (there’ll be a live action Disney movie playing too). So who? Don’t ask me.
  5. The film has no names attached- Now this is probably going to change as we get more information on the movie, but so far we have five names: Chad Damiani (screenplay), J.P. Lavin (screenplay), Tara Farney (producer), Tripp Vinson (producer), and Sam White (producer). If you don’t recognize any of those names, don’t feel bad, nobody does. Whenever a big movie is announced there is usually some big name attached to it, so we can see that someone actually has faith in the project, but with five no-names there is nothing to go by.
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